Sigh of relief

Jeff's "surgery" won't be as dramatic (by that I mean costly) as originally thought. The oral surgeon's office called him back today and said that it shouldn't be more than $350 after our insurance covers their part. Unfortunately, it's likely he won't be able to get any additional work done (he's got a bunch of cavities to be filled) until next year, but I'd much rather have it this way than an enormous amount out-of-pocket.

Of course... on top of this news yesterday, we also find out that he owes an additional $360 in tuition to Chico State because, well, California can't be bothered to pass a budget, and everyone knows college students are made of money, right?

Today's meme assignment was to add my favorite photo of my best friend. So...there's a picture of me and Jeff on our wedding day, June 13, 2009. <3

Sorry...

for not following the meme. It's been a busy 24 hours.

Last night we had our friends Alex and Dianna over to watch House. I had gathered a gift for Dianna - a bunch of leftover/scrap fabric - from some people on The Internet (okay, really it was Freecycle.com - which I recommend you join if there's one in your area) and was excited to present it to her (by present I really mean plop in her lap and say "PRESENT!"). Because I was excited, I didn't spend any time in my office, which is currently acting as a sort of "clean room" for me to go into to avoid being around the kitties for a while.

I ended up a blind, allergic mess for about an hour last night. What I'd have done without Jeff, I don't know (besides not have the kittens and thus not have had the problem in the first place. You know what I meant). I alternated between sobbing "I don't wanna get rid of the kitties" and "I can't be sick anymore" and "I can't abandon them like everyone abandons meeeeeeeeeee." Meltdown of the highest order. Thankfully I was able to shower and be cuddled long enough to (eventually) see again.

Today, Jeff had a dentist appointment to have the sutures removed from when he had a wisdom tooth extracted last week. That didn't go so well. He was told that he likely needs surgery to shave down part of his mandible in order to avoid infection. His bone apparently grew faster than his gums did, leaving the bone exposed and vulnerable (oh the metaphor available here!). He was given antibiotics and an immediate consultation with an oral surgeon.

I haven't spoken to him since, so I'm still operating (harhar) under the assumption that he'll have to have surgery.

We cannot afford this.

There are no oral surgeons who are in our dental insurance's network in this county; the closest is 45 minutes away and isn't a realistic option for his care. He's decided to take the antibiotics, consult with a professor of his who has been an oral/facial reconstructive surgeon for decades regarding the necessity of the procedure and who the professor would recommend, and get at least one additional opinion from another in-network dentist.

It took a lot for me not to start crying at my desk. I guess at least with the cats in the house, I can use them as an excuse. Poor girls.

Blog meme day one

Day 1: A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Well there it is. Me, after a mind-numbing day at work.

Wait, I guess that's killing two birds with one stone, allowing the photo to do the talking. Alright.

Well, today was like any other Monday, though with the added bonus of the boss being out of town. I work at a car dealership (new Nissans and Hyundais, as well as used vehicles, parts, service, etc.) in the accounting department. I do all accounts payable work, as well as photograph the vehicles for our various websites, make sure the info on those websites is accurate, type emails and shit for the boss, create all kinds of mailers, and do pretty much anything else anyone can come up with for me to do.

Except today... as it's the end of the month, and there was little to no work to be done. Yikes.

The only good thing that happened today is...maybe...just maybe...the office's village idiot will FINALLY go away. Lying is bad, mkay?

Other events of today include getting the stucco around our new window patched (yay for seemingly endless home improvements) and acquiring some items for a friend of mine. More on that tomorrow (provided all goes well).

Back in the saddle

I haven't done this in a while. I'm beginning to be afraid that every post will start that way. But Renee has a 30 day blog meme thingamajig that she's doing, and I'm hoping it will get me back into the habit of writing.

That, and my need to know, and to help others know, that they're not alone.

I feel alone a lot, despite living with an adoring husband and (as of recently!) two adorable kittens. Humans are strange creatures - I have proof (nearly scientific proof, even) that kittens/cats/felines make me physically ill, and yet I gave into the peer pressure from others to get a pair of cats. Sigh. They ARE adorable, though, so now we just have two "clean rooms" in our house where I can go to air out.

Anyway, lately I've had this recurring feeling of abandonment. My first love, and first "real" best friend, Nate, stopped talking to me last summer. We met the summer I was 13, he was 15 (1998, if you're keeping track) at nerd camp (oh I'm sorry, a Johns Hopkins program for gifted kids) at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. I fell hard, fast, and for quite a long time for that blonde boy from Ohio who was taking a computer science class - which seemed much less interesting and more interesting simultaneously than the biology I was studying, but anyway. We kept in touch, sporadically by telephone at first, then more regularly by e-mail/AIM when those were accessible. We saw each other through a lot of things. Were we still in contact, by next summer we'd have been friends for 50% of my life.

Then his girlfriend decided our relationship was "inappropriate" because we talked about sex, and men and women who weren't dating each other shouldn't talk about that. She only knew we were talking about that subject because she kept track of his instant message conversations and hacked into his e-mails, despite his creating new ones so she couldn't keep up. She also failed to notice the section of the conversation where I convinced him not to seek out a prostitute or other method of cheating on her.

Oh, we women and our selective eyes/ears!

I've felt another abandonment of sorts recently. A friend of mine, we met in the Air Force. Unbeknownst to us at the time (though photo-documented, and realized later) we were sworn in together at MEPS before shipping out to Lackland AFB. (Side note, blogger wanted to change Lackland to Lackluster. Also appropriate.) Anyway, we went to Monterey together, bonded over a shared history of Pennsylvania residency and the tedium of middle class upbringings. I was discharged and he was shipped to other bases, but we kept in touch through sporadic, double entendre-filled emails. Fast forward, he moves to Chico. Forward some more, his girlfriend joins him. A little later (a year? six months? I've lost track) and he (she? who knows) decides that we've "drifted apart," are "moving in different directions," or something.

I was broken up with by another male friend, and cannot help but suspect that the girlfriend was the source/cause.

I also cannot help but feel like it's my fault, or some flaw in me that makes me threatening. Perhaps I should limit my friends to women, or those in committed/establish relationships. I don't know.

At least both situations led to poems that I'm fond of. Perhaps I'll post them soon.